How to Listen With Presence During The Holidays

Have you ever listened to someone talk and whilst doing so your own thoughts of what to respond back come flooding in. For many of us, we tend to listen with our ego rather than with our heart. That being said, when you truly listen to someone with your heart you forget about yourself, you let your ego go. When you loose yourself in the conversation a sense of peace and calm emanates from your heart and aura. You feel as if you are becoming one with the person you are talking to. You are in a state of pure receptivity and understanding. This can be a direct gateway into the person's story, reality, and most importantly, their heart. When you listen presently and consciously, you are building a heart to heart connection with the person you are talking to. Are you ready to listen with your heart?

Below are 4 ways you can listen with your heart.

Smile & Breathe

Have you ever noticed when someone is telling a funny story and you're listening presently you tend to start smiling and laughing. In moments of presence we experience more joy and happiness. It's because we are listening with our hearts. When you smile, your heart opens automatically. Breathing also brings presence into your experience. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and out through your mouth. When you breathe you are becoming more present which leads to greater listening.

Focus Your Attention

Focus your attention to your sense of hearing. Pay attention to your ears and their state. Have all of your consciousness go there. This allows you to be focussed and receptive to what is being said. Allow your senses to be fully in the state of listening.

Look At The Persons Eyes

Sometimes when we talk to someone we look at their lips without being able to help it. When we do this, we are not connecting with another person as strongly as we could. A good quote by William Shakespeare is that the eyes are the window to the soul.

Whenever I look at someone's eyes when listening, I usually feel a strong connection to the person I'm talking with. The person you are speaking with will feel listened to and you will connect on a deeper level.

Release Judgement

Sometimes when we are speaking to close friends or family, thoughts of judgement can come rushing in. During these situations it can become hard to be present as the mind is busy creating a negative story. In these situations having a mantra ready can really help you to release any judgement or resentment. A mantra I use and teach my clients is: “I am willing to accept you as you are.” Another good one from The Course in Miracles is: “I am willing to see things differently.” Saying a mantra in your mind 3 times can help to let go of any negative mind chatter.

During the holidays it is quite easy to get wrapped up into our own world. Although the holiday season should be a time for family, friends, and relaxation; it often becomes a time of overspending, over eating, and over scheduling, which can in turn feel hectic and stressful. With the rush of people, and rapid conversations amid the stress of the season it is all to easy to forget what it means to be a good listener. By simply - smiling, breathing, focusing, and letting go of judgement, we allow ourselves to better listen and connect with our loved ones. I wish you all a relaxing holiday season filled with great conversations, laughter, and abundant love and light.    

3 Ways To Help You Let Go Of Grief And Loss After A Miscarriage

Giving birth to a baby is a miracle. A pure miracle. A woman's body is so sacred and magical that it's able to create something as special as life. Human life.

When I was first pregnant my husband and I were overjoyed with happiness. We couldn't believe that we were about to meet a beautiful soul to share our lives with. Knowing that we were going to bring a baby into this world was one of the best feelings in the world. Excitement lit up our hearts, and we imagined what our lives would be like when we would meet our baby for the first time.

This month marks one year since I had my miscarriage. Although I've experienced trauma in my early-twenties, nothing has compared to the level of emotion a miscarriage brings to one’s self.

I vividly remember the day when we found out. I was 4 months pregnant at the time. We met at the doctor's office, awaiting another ultrasound. This was going to be a special ultra-sound as we were going to find out the sex of the baby. There was such a serene peacefulness about me that day. I was blissful and happy as this was the first ultrasound I had without feelings of morning sickness. I remember lying on the bed, and looking at the screen. The doctor was very silent, and didn't say a thing. I started to think, “I wonder if something could be wrong”. I said to her, “Is everything okay?” She didn't answer. I said again, “Is everything okay… how come you’re not saying anything?” Then she responded. “Rishma, I'm sorry but I can't find a heartbeat.” In that moment, my heart dropped. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. My heart started racing, and I wanted to throw up. All I kept saying to my husband was - “What are we going to do? What are we going to do? I can't go through this?” I was living in my absolute worst nightmare.

That day we came home. We went into the bed. We cried. We screamed. We hurt. We continued to pray and hope that this was a bad dream, and soon we would wake up.

After having this experience, I can't tell you how many people opened up about having a miscarriage. To know that you're not alone means so much when you're going through a kind of suffering like this. I remember going online to read how many women have gone through this experience, and finding thousands of stories. I somehow felt a deep sense of connectedness to women all around the world.

When you haven't had traumatic experience for such a long time you really forget that many people are suffering around the world, every day, every minute, and that it's completely real. It's not until you go through your own suffering that you can have a deep amount of empathy and compassion for people. I see now as a healer, this was an important experience to go through. To help me understand suffering on the deepest level, so I could help people on the deepest level.

I wrote this article to help anyone who’s had a miscarriage and is trying to find peace. Here are 3 ways to help you heal if you've had a miscarriage.

Feel Your Pain

It’s easy to distract yourself from feeling during this time, but feeling your pain is crucial. When you don't feel your emotions, they can store inside of your physical body. Going through, and feeling the dark emotions can be tough at first, but doing so will help you to feel lighter quicker. This will take time, nevertheless sitting in silence and allowing negative emotions to come up will help you heal faster. The various emotions that may come up could be: guilt, shame, anger, hurt, blame, resentment, or disappointment. When these emotions are not felt, they will usually store around the heart, and sacral chakras. Getting a reiki treatment after a miscarriage can help you to let go of negative emotions stored in these chakras, so you can feel lighter, peaceful, and more happier.

Write

Writing can be extremely healing during a time like this. Write down your story. From the day you found out you were pregnant - to the miscarriage. Write down everything you’ve learned about yourself, about life. Writing is extremely therapeutic for your mind and soul, especially when it’s done with pen and paper. When we write with our hands, we connect to our heart chakra which allows us to release unwanted feelings that no longer serve us. Another thing you can do to help your heart heal is for 30 days after the miscarriage write down 3 things you're grateful for. When going through something as traumatic as a miscarriage it’s easy to fall into a space of victimhood. You're filled with so much grief and pain. These lower emotions can store around the heart chakra making you feel depressed and alone. Writing down what you're grateful for will move the energy around the heart to help you feel more unconditional love and peace.

Talk To The Soul Of The Baby

Doing a meditation and talking to the soul of your baby can be a healing practice. Talking to your baby can bring such peace and calm to the situation. When I have a client who has experienced a miscarriage we do a session that focuses on talking to the baby's soul. It is a truly beautiful experience, which is healing for both mother and baby.

Having experienced a miscarriage was the toughest thing I have ever been through. That being said as a healer I do my best to peacefully move forward. Therefore I’ve created a meditation that helps to let go of grief and loss after a miscarriage.

Click the link of you wish to listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJnVf5gEevo

What Can I Do to Get Through the Next Four Years with Donald Trump Being President?

The past month has brought up a lot of chaos, confusion, anger, and hurt. Donald Trump becoming the president of the United States of America has been the topic of discussion everywhere I turn. Being a spiritual life coach I'm often asked my opinion about what's happening in the world. This is why I decided to write this blog. A disclosure: These are only my thoughts and beliefs, so take what resonates for you. :-) 

Donald Trump is merely a scapegoat for the reality of what's been happening in the USA. For the past eight years with President Obama, the racist, sexist undertones were always there. It was just hidden in the shadows, afraid to come out and show itself. Trump has allowed people to come out of the shadows to show their darkness. You cannot transcend darkness if you cannot see it. 

Our interconnected purpose and intention to spread love onto this planet has the ability to clear up the darkness spread amongst the earth and its people. The darkness was always there; it was just hidden. Now that it's free to move, we are able to see it clearly and vividly. When you are able to see something vividly, it's in your reality, space, and energy. Call upon Source to clear the darkness with the light. We must call upon Source at this time. We must go inwards and pray. 

As we go through the days of darkness we must come together as one. When we come together as one, we are able to unify our light. Our divine truth and purpose. We do not need to be together physically, but spiritually. As one soul. 

Here are some ways you can help during this difficult time. 

1. Understand Your Own Shadows. 

One's ability to see their shadow side is a gift. It's only when we can see our shadows that they can move and transform into light. For example, if you find that during this time you are constantly going into a state of judgment with the president-elect, Donald Trump, it may be time to let go of this judgment. Judgment is the opposite of acceptance. When we are in judgment, we are living through our ego. When we are in acceptance, we are living through our heart and soul. 

2. Be the Change You Want to See.

Yes, we've heard it many times, this famous quote by Gandhi. Time and time again we can go back to this quote and be reminded that we are given free will in this lifetime. We have the ability to choose. We can choose the foods we put in our body. We can choose the thoughts we think and the way we speak to ourselves. We can choose the way we treat each other. If we want to see the world change, then we must be that change. Being conscious and taking action is so important during a time like this. Matt Kahn, a well-known spiritual teacher, says, “If you want people to stop polluting the oceans, then start by putting healthy foods in your body.” This is a great analogy that helps us to realize that change starts from within. 

3. Give. Give. Give.

Feel sadness? Give. Feel angry? Give. Feel frustrated? Give. When we serve others, we are the best versions of ourselves. When we do good actions for others, we feel good. Every day, you can make a conscious effort to help someone or love someone. I love this quote by Mother Teresa. She says: “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”