How to Listen With Presence During The Holidays

Have you ever listened to someone talk and whilst doing so your own thoughts of what to respond back come flooding in. For many of us, we tend to listen with our ego rather than with our heart. That being said, when you truly listen to someone with your heart you forget about yourself, you let your ego go. When you loose yourself in the conversation a sense of peace and calm emanates from your heart and aura. You feel as if you are becoming one with the person you are talking to. You are in a state of pure receptivity and understanding. This can be a direct gateway into the person's story, reality, and most importantly, their heart. When you listen presently and consciously, you are building a heart to heart connection with the person you are talking to. Are you ready to listen with your heart?

Below are 4 ways you can listen with your heart.

Smile & Breathe

Have you ever noticed when someone is telling a funny story and you're listening presently you tend to start smiling and laughing. In moments of presence we experience more joy and happiness. It's because we are listening with our hearts. When you smile, your heart opens automatically. Breathing also brings presence into your experience. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and out through your mouth. When you breathe you are becoming more present which leads to greater listening.

Focus Your Attention

Focus your attention to your sense of hearing. Pay attention to your ears and their state. Have all of your consciousness go there. This allows you to be focussed and receptive to what is being said. Allow your senses to be fully in the state of listening.

Look At The Persons Eyes

Sometimes when we talk to someone we look at their lips without being able to help it. When we do this, we are not connecting with another person as strongly as we could. A good quote by William Shakespeare is that the eyes are the window to the soul.

Whenever I look at someone's eyes when listening, I usually feel a strong connection to the person I'm talking with. The person you are speaking with will feel listened to and you will connect on a deeper level.

Release Judgement

Sometimes when we are speaking to close friends or family, thoughts of judgement can come rushing in. During these situations it can become hard to be present as the mind is busy creating a negative story. In these situations having a mantra ready can really help you to release any judgement or resentment. A mantra I use and teach my clients is: “I am willing to accept you as you are.” Another good one from The Course in Miracles is: “I am willing to see things differently.” Saying a mantra in your mind 3 times can help to let go of any negative mind chatter.

During the holidays it is quite easy to get wrapped up into our own world. Although the holiday season should be a time for family, friends, and relaxation; it often becomes a time of overspending, over eating, and over scheduling, which can in turn feel hectic and stressful. With the rush of people, and rapid conversations amid the stress of the season it is all to easy to forget what it means to be a good listener. By simply - smiling, breathing, focusing, and letting go of judgement, we allow ourselves to better listen and connect with our loved ones. I wish you all a relaxing holiday season filled with great conversations, laughter, and abundant love and light.    

3 Ways To Help You Let Go Of Grief And Loss After A Miscarriage

Giving birth to a baby is a miracle. A pure miracle. A woman's body is so sacred and magical that it's able to create something as special as life. Human life.

When I was first pregnant my husband and I were overjoyed with happiness. We couldn't believe that we were about to meet a beautiful soul to share our lives with. Knowing that we were going to bring a baby into this world was one of the best feelings in the world. Excitement lit up our hearts, and we imagined what our lives would be like when we would meet our baby for the first time.

This month marks one year since I had my miscarriage. Although I've experienced trauma in my early-twenties, nothing has compared to the level of emotion a miscarriage brings to one’s self.

I vividly remember the day when we found out. I was 4 months pregnant at the time. We met at the doctor's office, awaiting another ultrasound. This was going to be a special ultra-sound as we were going to find out the sex of the baby. There was such a serene peacefulness about me that day. I was blissful and happy as this was the first ultrasound I had without feelings of morning sickness. I remember lying on the bed, and looking at the screen. The doctor was very silent, and didn't say a thing. I started to think, “I wonder if something could be wrong”. I said to her, “Is everything okay?” She didn't answer. I said again, “Is everything okay… how come you’re not saying anything?” Then she responded. “Rishma, I'm sorry but I can't find a heartbeat.” In that moment, my heart dropped. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. My heart started racing, and I wanted to throw up. All I kept saying to my husband was - “What are we going to do? What are we going to do? I can't go through this?” I was living in my absolute worst nightmare.

That day we came home. We went into the bed. We cried. We screamed. We hurt. We continued to pray and hope that this was a bad dream, and soon we would wake up.

After having this experience, I can't tell you how many people opened up about having a miscarriage. To know that you're not alone means so much when you're going through a kind of suffering like this. I remember going online to read how many women have gone through this experience, and finding thousands of stories. I somehow felt a deep sense of connectedness to women all around the world.

When you haven't had traumatic experience for such a long time you really forget that many people are suffering around the world, every day, every minute, and that it's completely real. It's not until you go through your own suffering that you can have a deep amount of empathy and compassion for people. I see now as a healer, this was an important experience to go through. To help me understand suffering on the deepest level, so I could help people on the deepest level.

I wrote this article to help anyone who’s had a miscarriage and is trying to find peace. Here are 3 ways to help you heal if you've had a miscarriage.

Feel Your Pain

It’s easy to distract yourself from feeling during this time, but feeling your pain is crucial. When you don't feel your emotions, they can store inside of your physical body. Going through, and feeling the dark emotions can be tough at first, but doing so will help you to feel lighter quicker. This will take time, nevertheless sitting in silence and allowing negative emotions to come up will help you heal faster. The various emotions that may come up could be: guilt, shame, anger, hurt, blame, resentment, or disappointment. When these emotions are not felt, they will usually store around the heart, and sacral chakras. Getting a reiki treatment after a miscarriage can help you to let go of negative emotions stored in these chakras, so you can feel lighter, peaceful, and more happier.

Write

Writing can be extremely healing during a time like this. Write down your story. From the day you found out you were pregnant - to the miscarriage. Write down everything you’ve learned about yourself, about life. Writing is extremely therapeutic for your mind and soul, especially when it’s done with pen and paper. When we write with our hands, we connect to our heart chakra which allows us to release unwanted feelings that no longer serve us. Another thing you can do to help your heart heal is for 30 days after the miscarriage write down 3 things you're grateful for. When going through something as traumatic as a miscarriage it’s easy to fall into a space of victimhood. You're filled with so much grief and pain. These lower emotions can store around the heart chakra making you feel depressed and alone. Writing down what you're grateful for will move the energy around the heart to help you feel more unconditional love and peace.

Talk To The Soul Of The Baby

Doing a meditation and talking to the soul of your baby can be a healing practice. Talking to your baby can bring such peace and calm to the situation. When I have a client who has experienced a miscarriage we do a session that focuses on talking to the baby's soul. It is a truly beautiful experience, which is healing for both mother and baby.

Having experienced a miscarriage was the toughest thing I have ever been through. That being said as a healer I do my best to peacefully move forward. Therefore I’ve created a meditation that helps to let go of grief and loss after a miscarriage.

Click the link of you wish to listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJnVf5gEevo

What Can I Do to Get Through the Next Four Years with Donald Trump Being President?

The past month has brought up a lot of chaos, confusion, anger, and hurt. Donald Trump becoming the president of the United States of America has been the topic of discussion everywhere I turn. Being a spiritual life coach I'm often asked my opinion about what's happening in the world. This is why I decided to write this blog. A disclosure: These are only my thoughts and beliefs, so take what resonates for you. :-) 

Donald Trump is merely a scapegoat for the reality of what's been happening in the USA. For the past eight years with President Obama, the racist, sexist undertones were always there. It was just hidden in the shadows, afraid to come out and show itself. Trump has allowed people to come out of the shadows to show their darkness. You cannot transcend darkness if you cannot see it. 

Our interconnected purpose and intention to spread love onto this planet has the ability to clear up the darkness spread amongst the earth and its people. The darkness was always there; it was just hidden. Now that it's free to move, we are able to see it clearly and vividly. When you are able to see something vividly, it's in your reality, space, and energy. Call upon Source to clear the darkness with the light. We must call upon Source at this time. We must go inwards and pray. 

As we go through the days of darkness we must come together as one. When we come together as one, we are able to unify our light. Our divine truth and purpose. We do not need to be together physically, but spiritually. As one soul. 

Here are some ways you can help during this difficult time. 

1. Understand Your Own Shadows. 

One's ability to see their shadow side is a gift. It's only when we can see our shadows that they can move and transform into light. For example, if you find that during this time you are constantly going into a state of judgment with the president-elect, Donald Trump, it may be time to let go of this judgment. Judgment is the opposite of acceptance. When we are in judgment, we are living through our ego. When we are in acceptance, we are living through our heart and soul. 

2. Be the Change You Want to See.

Yes, we've heard it many times, this famous quote by Gandhi. Time and time again we can go back to this quote and be reminded that we are given free will in this lifetime. We have the ability to choose. We can choose the foods we put in our body. We can choose the thoughts we think and the way we speak to ourselves. We can choose the way we treat each other. If we want to see the world change, then we must be that change. Being conscious and taking action is so important during a time like this. Matt Kahn, a well-known spiritual teacher, says, “If you want people to stop polluting the oceans, then start by putting healthy foods in your body.” This is a great analogy that helps us to realize that change starts from within. 

3. Give. Give. Give.

Feel sadness? Give. Feel angry? Give. Feel frustrated? Give. When we serve others, we are the best versions of ourselves. When we do good actions for others, we feel good. Every day, you can make a conscious effort to help someone or love someone. I love this quote by Mother Teresa. She says: “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”  

5 Simple Tips To Open Your Heart Chakra

5 Simple Tips To Open Your Heart Chakra

The Heart Chakra is one of the most essential chakras in our aura. If you look at the way our bodies are formed, the exact centre is located in the middle of the chest where the heart resides. Within every living thing, the centre is where source energy is encapsulated. When we are connected to source, this is when we feel more peace, joy, unconditional love, and compassion for others. We have the ability to deeply feel so many positive emotions when our Heart Chakra is open. Negative emotions can also be stored in our Heart Chakra. Emotions such as resentment, anger, hurt, loneliness, grief or sorrow can block the flow of the Heart Chakra, causing feelings of heaviness and/or depression in our emotional state of being.

Many of my clients often ask me, how can I heal and open on my Heart Chakra?

Below are 5 strategies to open this essential energy centre:

Crystals and Precious Stones

Crystals such as rose quartz, moss agate, and jade have profound healing abilities on the Heart Chakra. Keeping these stones beside your bed while you sleep is a great way to move the energy around your heart. These stones promote feelings of unconditional love and peace. If you know a Reiki practitioner, they can channel love energy to these stones which makes the energy more prominent to promote further healing.

Green Foods

Eating foods that come from the earth and are green can improve your health significantly. Moreover, not only are you improving your physical health, but your spiritual health benefits as well. Eating vegetables such as kale, spinach, cucumber, zucchini, lime, mint, and other green veggies can help clear the energy around your Heart Chakra. You will notice that when you eat more green, you will tend to feel happier and more joyful throughout the day.

Nature

Living in Singapore we are blessed with access to an abundance of nature. Walking into a park, or a space where there are a lot of trees, plants, and grass is a great way to move the energy around your Heart Chakra. Visualise that the Life Force Energy all around you is penetrating into your Heart Chakra. A good mantra you can use while you're in nature is: “My heart is a magnet for life force energy.”

Smile More

Have you ever observed a person who smiles a lot. They look pretty happy don't they? This might make you question if they are truly happy or if they just faking it. In 1872 Charles Darwin first posed the idea that emotional responses influence our feelings. “The free expression by outward signs of an emotion intensifies it,” he wrote. Many new studies are showing the benefits of smiling and how it affects our emotional state of being. Research shows that people who smile a lot, tend to experience more genuine feelings of happiness, joy and peace. So start smiling more, it costs nothing and opens up your heart.

Forgiveness

When you feel resentment and anger towards someone, you are only hurting yourself in the process. When we feel these dark emotions and don't let go of them, this negative energy becomes stored around our Heart Chakra. One way to let go of this energy is to forgive everyone.

Start off by sitting in a comfortable seated position. Start to focus on your breath. Then visualise someone that you want to forgive. After a couple of minutes repeat the mantra: “I forgive ___________ (insert person’s name). I am willing to release any anger, hurt or resentment towards __________ (insert person’s name). I replace with love and light.” This affirmation is extremely powerful and can move negative energy around the Heart Chakra.

Visit www.theheartwhispers.com

How Can Reiki Help Me?

The first time I received Reiki was in my early twenties, fresh out of a traumatic 4 year relationship. My heart felt like it had broken into a million tiny pieces. My mom had just finished a Reiki course at the time, so I agreed to let her to practice on me. Lying on the massage table before the treatment, I felt nervous and scared not knowing what was about to happen. Then the session started, I closed my eyes and felt an undeniable numbing sensation on my face. My thoughts were completely still. In that moment, all I felt was peace and calm. My entire body was relaxed, and I could finally breathe without heaviness in my heart. It was a truly beautiful experience for me. Shortly after this session, I realised that I needed to learn more about my heart and soul. I had a strong desire to go inwards, so I started learning about meditation, Reiki and other healing modalities. From that day onwards my my life changed forever. Today I am a qualified Reiki Master and Spiritual Life Coach.

Nowadays, Reiki is becoming more popular and well-known. Why?

Because more people are being open and vulnerable in sharing their transformational stories about energy healing. Even Ellen DeGeneres, Gwyneth Paltrow, Halle Berry and Angelina Jolie openly discuss their love for Reiki.

Are you thinking about experiencing some Reiki? Below are 3 reasons how Reiki can help you.

Are you trying to heal from stressors?

Many clients contact me because they feel emotions such as grief, loneliness hurt and/or anger from stressors or a specific experience they have endured. These experiences could be a significant trauma, or may also be smaller shocks to our mental, psychological or physical systems from which dense emotions accumulate over time. Waking up with these emotions everyday is not easy. This dense and heavy feeling can be felt in your head, heart or stomach area. When you're in that state of being, it’s also easy to believe that these feelings are never going to leave and are going to stay forever.

When these emotions don't move through us, we end up feeling stuck and rigid in this state of being. The circulation of our life force energy gets impeded, much like a river with too much debris and rocks. Receiving Reiki gives a gentle nudge to the emotional debris and can help you move through these emotions, which makes room for you to feel more peace, and love.

Do you want to let go of worries and concerns?

Do you have anxious thoughts? Are you craving a less cluttered mind? Do you wish you you woke up with a sense of peace rather than worry? After receiving Reiki, you will experience less thoughts and worries. A lot of my clients say after 3-4 sessions they can easily go into stillness and meditate, something they were not able to do before the Reiki sessions. Why? Because thoughts are energy. When you get a Reiki treatment, the love energy from the universe is flowing into your chakras, helping unwanted thoughts to move and dissipate into the core of mother earth.

Are you seeking a transformational shift in the way you live and approach life?

Have you ever heard that quote by Einstein, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”? Many clients come to me because they are looking for a shift in their current life. Whether it be career, relationships, health, or money, they are wanting a transformation but are unsure of how to begin, or how let go of old, unhealthy habits. When we bring our attention towards doing work on our inner realms, our outer world starts to change. It just starts with being open and willing to go inside, and be present with your soul. When your soul feels more presence and love, this is when your outer reality starts to shift. Reiki is one of the best ways to feed your soul more love, and a reiki practitioner can guide you on making lasting changes, creating the results you seek to see in your external world.

Do you live in Singapore and are wanting to experience a Reiki session? Visit www.theheartwhispers.com or call +65 8720.8430

Don't Go On Another Date Till You Read This!

When I think back to the days of dating, it makes my stomach quench, as it was a disappointing and yet exciting experience for me. The highs, the lows; it felt like I was on a never ending roller coaster ride. The expectations filled my head like a balloon about to explode. Before every date I went on, I would have daydreams of meeting Mr. Right that filled my mind like words fill a dictionary. You know that daydream, the one where a tall, dark haired, gorgeous man sweeps you off your feet, and carries you off to Lover LoverLand. Well to make a long story short, that so called date never happened. However, my Prince Charming eventually did show up when I decided to let go of all expectations. It finally happened because I made a conscious effort to live my life from an authentic and open space. 

On a daily basis I meet women who are in the exact same situation as I was, and it makes me think; if only I knew then what I know now. Dating is supposed to be a fun, exciting, and happy time in a single girls’ life. A time to feel excitement and pleasure; not a time to feel angst and disappointment. 

If this in anyway sounds like you, follow these 3 tips to help you let go of expectations when dating once and for all! 

#1 Date for the Experience rather than a Relationship. 

Telling yourself that you want to go on a date for a “fun” experience, rather than to find the love of your life can feel completely contradictory. When dating, the hardest part is letting go of the expectations of marrying the man or woman of your dreams. The subconscious mind holds so many expectations, which can lead to countless disappointments. These expectations can also chip away at your self love. Sometimes when the relationship doesn’t manifest, you end up beating yourself up; thinking maybe if you were prettier, smarter, more charismatic it could have worked out. Being aware of these expectations is the first step to releasing them. 

When you find yourself having expectations before a date, say affirmations to ground yourself and to ease the subconscious mind. The more you can let go of these expectations, the more fun, authentic, and enjoyable your experiences become. You can say the affirmation: “I let go of any expectations for this date. I enjoy and savour the present moment.” When meeting your date instead of looking at them like they could be a potential life partner, change your mindset and say the affirmation: “I let go of any expectations and I am present.” 

#2 Listen and Try not to Judge

When you are on a date, it can sometimes be difficult to just listen. When you are too busy judging a person’s looks or attractiveness, thoughts come flooding in and it can be difficult to just listen to what the person is saying; this itself takes away from the dating experience. It is absolutely normal that mind chatter will come up, but just being aware of your thoughts can help to drop any judgement. When you start dating for experiences, you can have a great time no matter who you are with. Think of it like getting to know a friend who comes from a different background, set of experiences, beliefs and values. Enjoy the food, the ambience, and just smile. Imagine you are watching a movie, and the other person is acting out a role and reading a script. Try your best to just appreciate the movie, whether it is horror, comedy or a plain old documentary. Just observe, listen, and be present for the film and who knows; you might just have a pleasant time watching.  

#3 Keep your Options Open

Sometimes when you find someone who you like and are attracted to, the ability to over-embellish an idea of who that person is can occur. When you put all of your eggs in one basket right at the beginning, you are setting yourself up for disappointment if the person does not choose you. This is when you fall the hardest, as you have invested so much energy after so little time. When you meet someone who could be a potential life partner, this is when you need to be open to the possibilities of other people. Continue to see other people, as this is your time to experience dating. When you keep your options open, you are sending a message to your subconscious that you are not invested in a specific outcome. This allows your energy to be open to the possibilities that serve your highest interest. 

Think of it like buying a car. You want to buy a good quality car to get you around town. Do you go to the dealership and look at one car, and buy it without a test drive. Or do you spend time with the car to find out if you really like it? Do you look at several cars, making sure you  buy the one that suits you perfectly; the way it looks, the way it runs (it’s engine), the way you feel around it. Hopefully you would be choosy in this situation, as you are investing your valuable time and money. It’s the same as finding a potential life partner. You are investing your time, energy, and space. Why would you invest everything into one person without getting to know who they really are? 

I hope these tips help you as much as they did me. Remember to have fun, not take things to seriously, listen and be sure to shop around. Happy dating everyone, and don’t forget you are worth it!